Mastering Trauma: A Candid Conversation with Erica Bess

Defining Trauma

On the MindShift Power Podcast, I, your host Fatima Bey The MindShifter, welcomed back Erica Bess, a licensed therapist known as the Trauma Master. With over twelve years of experience, Erica brought her deep understanding of trauma to our discussion. Trauma, she explained, is an emotional response to a distressing event that can make a person feel unsafe or threatened. It can range from significant events like domestic violence to seemingly minor incidents like stubbing your toe on a table.

Unmasking Trauma

The term “trauma” is often misunderstood and generalized. People may use terms like “triggered” or say they have “issues” when they actually mean trauma. Erica emphasized that recognizing these terms can help people understand and address their trauma. It's essential to realize that trauma isn't always apparent and can be masked by everyday language.

Personal Encounters with Trauma

Erica’s passion for trauma therapy stems from her own experiences. She shared that her journey through personal trauma inspired her to help others. The biggest indicator of trauma, she noted, is difficulty in relationships. Unresolved trauma can lead to repeated patterns of conflict and isolation, often pushing others away and leading to loneliness.

The Snake Analogy

We used a vivid analogy to illustrate trauma's impact: trauma is like carrying around a snake that bites anyone who gets too close. You may not even realize the snake is there, but it affects your interactions and relationships. This analogy helps people visualize the pervasive and often unnoticed nature of trauma.

Trauma in Different Contexts

Trauma doesn't just affect personal relationships; it can impact professional ones as well. For example, someone who has experienced sexual assault may be triggered by the smell of alcohol, making social settings like bars difficult. Erica highlighted how trauma can cause people to react in ways that may seem irrational to others but are deeply rooted in their past experiences.

The Impact of Unresolved Trauma

Unresolved trauma can manifest in various ways, including trust issues and fear in relationships. These responses often stem from early experiences with caregivers or significant traumatic events. Erica pointed out that people who haven't dealt with their trauma may unknowingly carry it into every relationship, leading to repeated patterns of conflict and mistrust.

Steps to Healing

Once you recognize your trauma, the next step is to seek professional help. Erica recommended finding a therapist who can help you understand and address your trauma. Therapy can lead to a healthier and more balanced life, even if you never completely forget your traumatic experiences. Healing is about managing and mastering your trauma, rather than erasing it.

Signs of Mastering Trauma

Mastering trauma involves positive changes, such as improved self-care, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and reconnecting spiritually. Effective communication is also a key indicator of progress. When you can express yourself without shutting down or lashing out, it’s a sign that you’re on the path to healing.

A MindShifting Moment

Trauma is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn't have to define you. Recognizing and addressing your trauma is the first step towards healing. This episode’s mind-shifting moment encourages you to examine your own experiences and seek help if needed. The journey to mastering your trauma is a process, but it begins with a single step.