Helping Others on the Mental Ledge: Insights from Terry Tucker

In an episode of the MindShift Power Podcast, hosted by the dynamic Fatima Bey, we had the privilege of discussing strategies for supporting someone on the mental edge with Terry Tucker, founder of Motivational Check LLC, an international motivational speaker, and a former SWAT negotiator for the Cincinnati Police Department. This episode delves into the practical approaches and empathy required to help those in mental crisis.

Understanding Communication

Terry begins by explaining the importance of effective communication. "We communicate a message through words, tone of voice, and body language," he shares. Surprisingly, only 7% of our communication is through words, while 38% is through tone of voice, and 55% is through body language and facial expressions. This emphasizes the need for a calm and open demeanor when supporting someone in crisis.

Empathy and Tactical Empathy

Terry introduces the concept of tactical empathy, which involves understanding the other person's perspective without necessarily agreeing with them. "Help me to understand where you're coming from," he advises. This approach builds rapport and trust, leading to a more influential and supportive relationship. By asking how and what questions instead of why questions, we can avoid sounding accusatory and foster open communication.

Ask Directly

One crucial point Terry emphasizes is the importance of directly asking if someone is considering self-harm. "If you think someone is thinking of hurting themselves, ask them," he urges. Contrary to common belief, asking about suicidal thoughts does not plant the idea in their mind. Instead, it opens the door for them to express their feelings and seek help.

Listening Without Judgment

Fatima highlights the significance of listening without judgment. "Try understanding instead of being judgmental," she advises. Even if the person's thoughts seem irrational or wrong, listening attentively without expressing judgment can make a significant difference. This approach helps the person feel heard and valued, potentially preventing them from going over the mental edge.

The Role of Timing

Terry stresses that timing is critical when offering solutions. "You may have the solution, but if they're not ready to hear it, it won't help," he explains. By asking how and what questions, we can engage the person in finding their own solutions, which is more effective than imposing our ideas on them.

Final Thoughts

Terry Tucker's insights remind us that supporting someone on the mental edge requires empathy, effective communication, and patience. By listening without judgment, asking direct questions, and understanding the importance of timing, we can help those in crisis find their way back to a more stable and hopeful state of mind.