Fightin' Words

Them's Fightin' Words

Friends Who Will Throw Hands For Your Honor

One day, while in the midst of a conversation with a coworker and friend, I made a comment that was insulting to myself. Now, I don't even remember what I said. This friend then said "Don't be talkin' bout my Fatima like that! Imma have to fight you!". I laughed but appreciated the love. A couple of months later I was talking with a different friend in a completely different and more social setting. I again said something negative and insulting about myself. No, I don't remember what I said there either. Well, this friend became very upset, got in my face and said "What did you just say about my friend? Oh no you are NOT going to talk about one of my closest friends like that!" She literally looked like she was going to kick my ass. I laughed at first but she kept going on and would not get out of my face until I took it back.

When Old Habits Need A Beat Down

While I appreciated the love from both of them, I also had to recognize that they had a point. All of my life I have struggled very hard with low self esteem and low self worth. Although I had come far from where I used to be, I had to recognize that there were still pieces of me that hadn't arrived yet. I had to be honest with myself about where those negative words came from. When we are used to doing a thing most of our lives, good or bad, it is difficult to change these habits. It is true that old habits die hard, but they can die! These two friends having that same type of reaction caused me to start paying attention to how I talk about myself and make some changes.

Be Your Own Bodyguard

I know that I am not alone in that. Some of you reading this right now know exactly what I'm talking about. Most of your thoughts about yourself are negative too. That's really not fair to you. While watching how we talk about ourselves isn't a whole solution alone, it is a piece of it. The next time that little negative voice creeps up in your thoughts, take on the same attitude as my friends. Don't you talk about you like that!

Your Inner Circle Should Have Your Back

Another big piece of this is being mindful of who you have around you. Do you keep people around you who are interested in building you up and making you better? A real friend will confront you, even when it's uncomfortable, if it will make you better. A real friend wants to see you thrive and not dive.

Two-Punch Combo For Better Self-Talk

Walking you through how to have confidence and build your self worth belongs in a whole book, not an article. But in this article, I've given you just 2 ingredients of the larger recipe for confidence and healthy self worth. First, stop saying negative things about yourself. Second, keep people around you that care about you enough to consider any bad talk about you to be "Fightin' Words".

Fatima Bey The MindShifter