TAMING THE STORM INSIDE: HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS

Ever felt like your emotions were a wild rollercoaster you couldn't stop? Same. But what if you could grab the controls?

In my recent chat with Dr. Ed Daube (literally called "The Emotions Doctor"), I discovered something mind-blowing about those intense feelings that sometimes make you want to throw your phone across the room.

Your Brain on Emotions: The Hidden System Running Your Life

Here's the truth nobody told you: that anger that seems to come out of nowhere? It's actually your brain's ancient survival system kicking in.

Your brain is constantly on high alert, scanning for threats just like your ancestors did watching for predators. When it spots something threatening (like that passive-aggressive comment from your friend), your amygdala—the brain's alarm system—triggers instantly.

The wild part? This happens before you're even conscious of it. That's right—your body reacts before your thinking brain gets the memo.

Taking Back Control: Your Superpower

But here's where it gets interesting—and where you have more power than you realize.

Dr. Daube revealed that the secret to mastering your emotions is interrupting this automatic cycle. How?

1. Physically step back from the situation
2. Take a deep breath (seriously, it changes your brain chemistry)

These simple moves lower your emotional temperature and activate your cerebrum—the thinking part of your brain. Suddenly, you can ask yourself: "Is this really a threat? What's actually happening here?"

The Truth About Anger That Will Change Everything

Get this: your anger is ALWAYS valid because it's based on how you see the world. But—and this is crucial—your actions might not be justified if they're over-the-top compared to what's happening.

Understanding this difference is game-changing. You can honor your feelings while still choosing better responses.

Girls and Anger: The Double Standard

If you're a girl, you've probably noticed that society judges your anger differently. Dr. Daube's research for his book "Beyond Anger Management" found that many young women feel they can't express anger directly without being labeled "emotional," "dramatic," or worse.

His advice? Validate your own anger internally first. Then, in situations where direct expression might backfire, take a strategic approach to address what's bothering you without falling into stereotypes others might use against you.

Real Talk for When Anger Becomes Too Much

If your anger is creating more problems than it's solving, it's time for a new approach. The most empowering truth Dr. Daube shared? Nothing outside yourself "makes" you angry—it's your perception that triggers the emotion.

This puts the power back in your hands. Once you understand the emotions cycle, you can start choosing your responses instead of just reacting.

What emotional challenges are you dealing with right now? Learning to master your emotions might be the most important skill you'll ever develop—one that will serve you long after your algebra formulas are forgotten.