Breaking the Silence: A Male Survivor's Journey from Trauma to Healing

Sexual abuse is often discussed in terms of female victims, but the reality is that many men carry similar wounds in silence. In a moving episode of the MindShift Power Podcast, James Devine, a former teacher and public speaker, bravely shares his story of childhood sexual abuse and his path to healing.

The Weight of Silence

From ages five to eight, Devine experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a trusted family friend. Like many survivors, he kept this trauma hidden for years, wrestling with confusion, shame, and false guilt. "I looked up to this man," Devine shares. "He was like a father to me... and when he finished his terrible act, he apologized and said it would never happen again."

The Impact of Unaddressed Trauma

The effects of childhood sexual abuse rippled through various aspects of Devine's life:

• Chronic struggles with self-esteem
• Fear of authority figures
• Confusion about identity and sexuality
• Difficulty trusting others
• Internal battles with shame and self-blame

Breaking Free: The Journey to Healing

At age 16, Devine took his first step toward healing by telling his mother and sister about the abuse. While their initial reaction wasn't ideal - his mother struggled with denial - speaking his truth marked the beginning of his recovery journey. His path to healing included:

• Making the conscious decision to forgive his abuser
• Gradually sharing his story with trusted individuals
• Reading other survivors' stories
• Eventually seeking professional counseling
• Using his experience to help others through public speaking

A Message to Fellow Survivors

Devine emphasizes that male survivors are not alone - statistics suggest at least one in ten boys experiences sexual abuse. He particularly encourages older men who've never disclosed their abuse: "It's time, brother. It's time to tell someone what you've experienced and what you've been through, because it's not too late to start your healing journey."

The Importance of Professional Help

While Devine eventually found healing through various channels, he acknowledges that earlier counseling could have accelerated his recovery. "I wish she would have gotten me into counseling right away," he reflects about his mother's initial resistance. "I think that would have exponentially moved my healing journey quicker."

Hope for the Future

Today, at 57, Devine describes himself as "98% healed," though he acknowledges that healing is an ongoing journey. His story serves as a powerful reminder that it's never too late to begin the process of recovery, and that healing is possible no matter how long you've carried the weight of abuse.

Ready to dive deeper? Listen to the full episode of the MindShift Power Podcast with Fatima Bey The MindShifter here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2217223/episodes/14173136