Supporting Teen Girls: Finding Your Real Support System and Avoiding Toxic Connections

For many teenage girls, feeling unsupported can be an overwhelming reality. Whether it's lack of support at home or struggling to find genuine connections elsewhere, the impact can be profound. In a recent episode of the MindShift Power Podcast, host Fatima Bey and licensed therapist Erica Bess tackle this crucial issue head-on, offering practical guidance for teens seeking real support.

Understanding True Support

Support isn't just about having someone to talk to—it's about having people who help you grow without judgment or fear of backlash. As Bess explains, the teenage years are particularly challenging as you're navigating the space between childhood and adulthood. Having reliable support during this time is crucial for healthy development.

Identifying Good vs. Bad Support

Not all support is created equal. Bad support often looks like:

• Friends who encourage skipping school or work
• People who push you toward harmful behaviors
• Those who provide temporary escapes (like drugs) instead of real solutions
• Anyone who encourages you to disrespect authority figures or make destructive choices

Good support, on the other hand, includes people who:

• Help clarify your thoughts and build your self-esteem
• Assist with practical skills like time management
• Encourage participation in productive activities
• Guide you toward positive future goals
• Make you feel better about yourself after interactions

Finding Support Outside Traditional Sources

If support isn't available at home, there are still many options:

• Community centers with youth programs
• Teen groups and mentorship programs
• Trusted adults in your community
• School counselors or teachers you connect with
• Religious organizations (when appropriate)

The Danger of Settling

One of the most significant risks of feeling unsupported is settling for less than you deserve. This might mean:

• Accepting negative treatment from friends or romantic partners
• Staying in situations that hold you back
• Not pursuing opportunities because someone said you weren't good enough
• Surrounding yourself with people who lack ambition or positive goals

Remember: You're Worth More

As Fatima Bey emphasizes in the episode, "You, young lady, are a diamond. Do not allow yourself to be treated like a pebble." It's essential to understand that support exists, even if you haven't found it yet. The key is to keep looking until you find people who truly build you up and encourage your growth.

Don't expect perfection from support systems, but do expect them to help you become better. Good support should leave you feeling clearer, stronger, and more capable than before.

Taking Action

If you're feeling unsupported:

1. Reach out to community organizations
2. Look for mentorship programs
3. Connect with trusted adults in your community
4. Join positive group activities
5. Don't be afraid to seek help multiple times until you find the right fit