Fatima Bey (00:00.000)

you

Keon Brewer (00:21.464)

All right, y'all, we have a special guest joining me today. Fatima Bey, she is a dual entrepreneur, a master at crafting wedding dresses, a life coach, teacher, many things, master of many things. You can introduce yourself further if you want.

Hello everyone. Yes, I'm Fatima Bey The Mindshifter. I'm a Mindshift coach and I'm a dual entrepreneur. So when he says that I'm a master crafter, I make and design wedding gowns. That's my first business. And my second business is being a Mindshift coach. And there's a whole lot that goes with that. I do individual coaching. I go to high schools and do workshops. I do group coaching and I have a podcast and in public speaking.

Yes, fellow podcast, I've been listening to the podcast myself. I can say I'm a fan. And you know, as far as the mind shifting part, from the time that we've been talking like in the inbox, from the time that we started talking, you were already like challenging some of my thoughts.

You know what? You're right. Everybody around me. If you're a therapist and you try to have therapy sessions with me, I'm going to therapy you.

Yeah, I noticed that earlier.

Keon Brewer (01:47.342)

And so it makes me, I was wondering is that, so that's something that that's not just in the podcast content land. That's like every, like you always kind of do that kind of.

I've been a mindshifter my entire life, honestly. And it's only in recent years, primarily through convincing from my sister to turn it into a career. And as a mindshift coach, I might as well segue into what I specialize in. One of the things that I specialize in is helping people to find their purpose, their individual purpose, not the all in one, let me say what's politically correct. We all, you know,

Your purpose is to whatever you feel like today. Now, you're a teacher right now and that's not what you need to be. You know you're supposed to be a scientist finding the next cure for cancer. So what you doing? Like that's me. Your individual purpose. I'm not gonna tell you, I will coach you into discovering it for yourself. But helping people find their individual purpose. And then once you find your purpose, every single one of us should be making money.

making some bank while fulfilling our purpose. People think that you're gonna find money and that's gonna make you happy. It doesn't. That's why there's so many rich folks in rehab centers. So many rich folks killing themselves and doing all these other stuff and doing all kinds of stuff because money doesn't make you happy. It buys your stuff and fake people, but it doesn't make you happy. What makes us happy is fulfilling what we were meant to fulfill.

So once you fulfill your purpose, that's where your genuine happiness is. And my goal is to help people to find that. And again, once you do that, how can we turn that into a career or business? Cause I'm big on entrepreneurship, but I understand that everybody's going to be an entrepreneur. So turning that into a business or career so that you're not just working a job. Right. And the most miserable people have jobs. That's all they have though. They don't have a career. It's just a job.

Fatima Bey (03:53.998)

And then my third piece is helping people to find balance. That's probably a big focus. It's a big focal point for me. The reason is, is balance, everything life that works has balance. People don't think about it that way. Everything in life that's not working, everything that's wrong in the world, it's because of an imbalance somewhere. And I don't mean way up in the stars and astrology imbalance. That's a different subject.

Talk about natural balance. And I'm not talking about the chemicals in your body either. Most of the imbalances are in our heads. And so I help people to find balance within their life. So most of us, a lot of us, we go way off the deep end and in an area of life and we need balance so that that area of life can work. And sometimes it's not because you're doing

something wrong is because of what you're lacking. You're doing one thing right, but you need about four things right to get that thing, know, that area balanced. And so you're doing one thing right. You're like, well, this ain't working. So let me just scrap that. You don't need to scrap it. You just need to back it up a little bit and add these other two or three pieces so that you be balanced. So everybody's details are different when it comes to what balance I need, but I help people find balance. And my fourth area of focus is teenagers, which is what my podcast is about.

Yeah. So what did you hear about my podcast? What did you think when you were listening to the podcast?

Well, I like I listen to the full first episode which was with the teacher it was about basically just keeping it real like with students and When I heard it what I I what I noticed was Stronger pins it was it was stronger pins on

Keon Brewer (05:52.276)

what it actually means to like keep it real as far as like with the students. And when I got into the, I kind of got into the second episode a little bit and that was, that seemed like more of somebody you'd work with, the young lady that you'd work with. And like I said, I didn't finish it, but it seems like on there, she was confident. And I, cause I, you know, I didn't meet her the way you met her.

And you were like, you you gave her like, you you showed her how to gain her confidence and things like that. But it just sounded like she was beyond her years. Cause I think y'all said she was 17 or 18. And I'm like, this sounds like somebody my age up here talking.

That's what I told her and she doesn't get it. So I mean, I think she's starting to see it now. I don't think she fully gets these just how advanced her mind actually is.

I think she will when she starts impacting other people.

That'll probably do it for it.

Fatima Bey (06:55.66)

Yes. And that's exactly where I'm pushing her next. Now you just took my, put my secret out there. She doesn't know that that's the next, that's really the next step for her to see more. So for those of you who are watching, who haven't listened to my episode, you need to go listen. So you know what we're talking about. It's episode two called real change and just a short synopsis. It's a teenage girl that I've worked with. I've been coaching her.

And just a matter of six months ago, she had zero confidence. She felt like she was worthless in short. She's definitely not, but that's way she felt about herself. And within a matter of months, it got her to a point where now she understands that she has gifts, she has value, she is precious. I told her that when I met her, but now she actually believes it. And...

Now she knows exactly what she wants to do with her career. She's gonna be graduating this year. I got her looking up scholarships, so she ain't coming out with a million dollars in debt. I'm just like, you are not going out without those debts. So we looking up some scholarships. But she's confident in a way that I wish I had been when I was younger. I grew up with very low self-esteem, very, very low self-esteem as well. So I love being able to help

especially young women, but, sometimes I've done it for older women too, but especially for young women, love being able to help them to know who they really are and not the fake confidence that's often taught. Unfortunately, I would say a lot of fake confidence because it's on the surface, but the confidence isn't real because it's not believed within them. It doesn't matter. If I tell you, you are a handsome man, right?

But if you think you're ugly, it doesn't matter how much I say it, you don't believe it. So to you, you're not, and you're going to behave as if you're ugly. And this is what a lot of young women are running around doing right now. And it hurts my heart to see. I want to be able to make a difference on a bigger scale, what I've done with her. I want to be able to do that for other young women on a bigger scale. And even if I don't meet them, if I could just do it over the air on a podcast, I'll do it.

Keon Brewer (09:17.912)

So have you done like public speaking or like, I guess like in front of a crowd of however many, hundreds or whatever like that.

Yeah, yeah, I do public speaking. I do assemblies at high schools. I enjoy public speaking, but to be honest with you, my favorite place to public speak right now is high schools. I love talking to the kids who are sitting there trying to be on their phones, chewing gum, looking over that way. I get their attention. Sometimes I say funny stuff.

or call out their name or ask them their name in front of everybody and make a big tension. They don't realize that's what I'm doing. But it's hard to get their attention when they're sitting in the school setting in their classroom all day. But I love talking to high school students. And when they start asking questions back, then you're engaging. It's working. And that's really hard to do with high school students, especially nowadays because their attention spans are so short.

Cause we're, everybody has what I call a TikTok brain. It's like,

Yeah, microwave error.

Fatima Bey (10:26.486)

Yeah, yeah, it's like really, really quick, I'm done. So it's hard to maintain their attention. And so I try to be as interactive as I can, but I really love talking to high school students. And I don't just talk to them. I'm always interactive with them. I'm always asking them questions, what they think and getting their feedback. And I love that because I really like to hear where their minds are and be able to respond accordingly.

And I think it's important because when I'm talking to a crowd, I'm always interactive with anybody, even with adults as well. I like to be interactive because I need to understand where your brain is. I can better respond to you if I understand where your brain cells are working. You know? And so if I, if I get responses from people that tells me where to go, cause if you're over here, I don't want to be talking over there because I can't reach you there. That's not where you are. You're over here.

So I believe in reaching people where they are, whether coaching, whether I'm speaking to you. I used to tutor you and know this, but I used to tutor math. I used to teach and tutor math and English as a second language. And with both of those, would always, especially math, I would find out where my math student's brain was. Like, how does your brain function? How do you think? How do you break things apart? How does your brain process information? Once I observed that and I understood how the brain processes information, I taught them math.

from where the brain was already working and then got them to understand the mathematical concepts. Then we'll bring in the formulas and all the names and all the details that they try to shove down your throat because people hate math. I love math, but I get it.

Yeah, not bad. People who love math love it, absolutely. You know, I'm a trainer, fitness trainer. so that's kind of how I, because that's kind of how I try to connect. You know what saying? If I'm training someone during the session, then we'll talk. You know, I'm very open to listen to people. People kind of pour their heart out to their trainers, like.

Fatima Bey (12:11.854)

I do, do, love it.

Keon Brewer (12:34.71)

You know, they in that moment and they working out between those sets, they'll tell me problems that they haven't or whatever. And I'll try to give some kind of advice or whatever. And I've trained like high school kids and I consider being a teacher at one point, but the way my, I don't know if I care enough, unfortunately, like, you know what I'm saying? It's like the kids who I can't get to, I don't know if I got an enemy to try to.

nurture that kid and get him to understand what I'm saying. I'm just going to focus on the ones who want to learn. And I don't know if that's the right way to do it with those with a group of kids.

Yeah, well, that's okay, because we're not all built for the same thing. Yeah, I'm we're not all built for the same thing. I couldn't be a personal trainer because I would just be like throwing dumbbells around.

I was going to ask on your podcast, you were talking about culture. And I think you were saying you pull different parts of culture into yourself, kind of.

well, multiculturalism in a way. I think you're referring to the fact that I love foreigners. I probably said that.

Fatima Bey (14:03.374)

I love learning from people who are not like me. So I really do. So one of the reasons I love foreigners, and I've said this in public speaking, I like foreigners better than Americans. But here's why. It's not because I don't like Americans. Y'all suck. It's nothing like that. It's I love foreigners because I have something to learn from them. I, know, as far as culture goes, we're I'm American. I grew up in America. OK, yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Fatima Bey (14:33.068)

What next? But when it comes to foreigners, I don't give you from Afghanistan, Guatemala, China, Nigeria, wherever you're from. I didn't grow up where you did. So I have something to learn from you. That's just my personality. love, I love people and I love learning about people. So for that reason, I love, I love, I love learning about other cultures. If there's a room full of foreigners or a room full of Americans.

without a blink or without a blink, I'm going in the room full of foreigners because I'll have more interesting conversations. You know, I I'll it's not like I can't have interesting conversations with, you know, the room full of Americans because they're all human at the end of the day. And I like humans. But but but yeah, I love I love learning from other people. And I really think that more of us, especially and I'm talking especially about Americans, we are some of the most close money people on earth.

and we don't even see it. Everybody else in the world sees it, but we don't. And I don't know that I would see it either if I hadn't worked with them, the foreigners to understand it. And also working, teaching English as a second language, I learned a lot more about America than being American. Because I got to hear other people's perspectives. And I think it's so important if we want to have balanced minds, we have to be willing to be around

or at least listen to people who are not just like us. Because if you got your 12 people that you hang out all talk about the same thing all the time with the same thoughts and same, same, same. That is, and that's just dead. That's an area where there cannot be any growth. And I'm a very growth minded person. I always have been a very focused on growth. So if I can't grow, I can't stay there.

And I can't be around people who are just like me, even though I can be around people who are amazing and awesome. But if they're all just like me, that's boring. I need to be around a variety of people because I have something to learn from people. And I just mean whether or not they're foreigners. I mean someone who, I don't know, they're a janitor at a high school. But man, does he have some life wisdom that I can hear from him when he's talking. You know what I mean? Or this person who's over here and they're a multi-billionaire. I can learn.

Fatima Bey (16:55.48)

how do they think, what thinking led them to be a multi-billionaire? I might wanna hang out with them because I wanna hear how they think. You know what I mean? There's something that we can all gather from somebody. And I think especially when it comes to politics, we're so polarized in this country and very imbalanced. That's something I talk about a lot and I use it as a great example of imbalance. Cause it's one of the most obvious ones that we could see as American citizens. We go to the extremes and we're like, well, if you're not a Democrat,

If you're a Republican, you're automatically a racist asshole and blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, and that's not true. There are people who are Republican who are amazing people, who are friends of mine, who are awesome. And then there's the other extreme where if you're a Democrat, well, you're just an earhead. You're just la, la, la. The world lives on a bubble. Woo hoo hoo. You know, that's the other stereotype for that you have, you know, about the liberals and the Democrats. And the truth is,

There's some truth to that in both parties, absolutely. But is that all of them? I would say that's not even half the parties.

Yeah, there's extremes on both sides. absolutely. Me, when I, by the time I started voting, which I voted in like, I think like three elections now, like my first vote was after Obama, after his term. And so when I started voting and I started like kind of researching and stuff, it made me kind of realize like, okay, I don't think I have a party. Like,

Absolutely.

Keon Brewer (18:28.15)

I don't decide that I'm picking all the time. Like I don't support either one fully.

Nope, either. Me either. I'll tell you about myself. I used to be a Republican before little boy Trump got on the stage. And that's what I refer to him as little boy Trump. So when little boy Trump got on the stage, it just brought out too much to light. And I was like, I can't associate with this party, but I also can't be over here with the dingbat party. so I'm just an independent now and I'm in a state where I can't vote in primaries. That was actually the only reason I went to Republican.

is because I wanted to vote in primaries because I'm in New York state and you have to pick one or the other. And so an independent party is no longer recognized in New York state. It was, but it's not, but I don't care anymore. I just don't want to be associated with either one. And I know, again, I know wonderful politicians and people in both parties who are awesome. They're not extremes. They're not nut jobs, but...

Unfortunately, it's the nut jobs who have been the mouthpieces of both parties in recent years. And so it's become difficult to associate with either one. So, but I think that more and more Americans are like us, honestly, from when it just in talking to people, what I see, I think more and more Americans are really tired of all the extraness of.

It's so much you know, now like you everything is social media is like super heavy every time somebody say something it's posted a thousand times. So it's like you can't get away from it. Like when Joe Biden said they cure cancer the other day, it's like he said it and it's there and he just and it's all over the place. A hundred million views on you.

Fatima Bey (20:14.83)

You know, if we're using our brains and watching, we know what he

But when you flip it up.

Everything is taken to the extremes. that's part of a malfunctioning society where you have mostly extremities and there's no balance. I told you everything in life that works has balance and everything that's not working, something's out of balance. And until we gain balance in our society, we're just gonna keep malfunctioning like we are.

in game balance as a society.

We can, but only if we decide to do it with intention and we decide to do it together. I can't do it by myself. You can't do it by yourself. None of us, nope. And it's not the president's job either. President is one person. We don't have a system set up for just one person to rule us. This isn't a kingdom. And that's what people don't get. They're like, the president, president is a very important position, but it is not the only position. And there's some things that actually they don't have as much power. He or she is not going to have as much power. So.

Fatima Bey (21:12.908)

It's like, yes, it matters, but there's so many other things that matter that we were not considering, we need to take it into perspective. And I will keep reaching that word that, you know, we need to be, we need to stop being so polarized and start being balanced and actually be willing to listen to each other. And, you know, I don't have to agree with you, but I should at least give your, give your perspective a chance. Because even if I don't end up agreeing with you, maybe 10 % of what you said,

It's something for me to think about and might be true. And it could sway your thoughts so that you have balanced thinking instead of the wacko thinking that we see now. I know some people probably got upset I'm talking about the party, but hey, the truth is the truth.

When you said, you know, you have to consider other people's perspective and things like that, it made me think of me and my me and one of my friends. The debate was stupid. The debate doesn't matter. But what he was talking about was he said he doesn't take stances on things that involve opinion. He's he classified himself as a chaotic neutral. Have you ever?

It's a way of avoiding. It's a way of avoiding.

He did not, he wouldn't pick a side in a debate. said, nobody is wrong. It all depends on how you look at things. And I'm like, okay, I get that, but I'm a person who has to take a stance. And if it's, if it's opinionated, I'll think about it this way. And I'm not going to fight the other side.

Keon Brewer (22:59.224)

but I am gonna stay on this side about whatever it is.

And that's thing, and that's okay. It is okay that we don't agree on everything. I mean, I have some, one of my, and I'll tell you one of my favorite teachers since ancient times that I'm aware of is Dr. Miles Monroe. He died in 2014. He is phenomenal. And he has indirectly mentored me in many ways.

just he's very, very, very deep. He's a Christian preacher, but he talked about more than just church stuff. He was very, very deep. but even with him, I didn't agree with everything that he said. Yeah. And that's okay. I still agree with a good portion of what he said. And I still, have a lot of respect for him. That doesn't mean we have to agree on everything, you know, it really is okay. And like you said,

Yes, we want to hear other people's perspective. It doesn't mean that you need to float over to their side. Just, you know, and it is okay. And I think more people need to understand that. With my podcast, I'm going to have teenagers on who will tell their opinions about things. What's different about my podcast, though, is I don't bow down to political correctness.

Yeah.

Fatima Bey (24:27.598)

I don't know if you were able to listen to my prelude or not, but no politically correct bullshit on my show. Like I literally say that. Because, and this is another topic. I don't know if you already had it on your questions or not, but I think we kind of talked about it a little bit.

Fatima Bey (24:47.054)

But that political correctness is has been choking. It's choking our generation of youth. That is one of the major motivations for me to start my podcast. Our teenagers right now are growing up in a world that we have left them. That's just freaking messed up. OK, we have left them a bowl of shit and now we want them to bake a cake with it.

What the hell? And I'll tell you what I mean by that. There's a lot of ways in which we've done that. But the piece that I'm talking about right now is the way that political correctness has become a Hitler of our society. It is like a dictatorship and I do liken it to Hitler in this way. I will kill you if you don't bow down to my agenda. I will kill you if you don't disagree.

Yeah.

Fatima Bey (25:44.11)

I might not physically kill you, but I'm gonna kill you on social media. I'm gonna kill your reputation. I'm gonna kill your opportunity to be on TV. I'm gonna kill, kill, kill. I'm gonna murder you if you don't agree with my agenda. And that's where we are as a society. That's bad. That's really, really, really bad. And here's why it's so bad and why I'm so passionate about it. Because I see the damage that it's doing to our youth. You know, I love kids. I love teenagers.

why I work with them so much. I love them. I have a passion for them. I see them all as my kids. And I don't mean my kids in terms of ownership. I mean my kids in terms of care and concern. You know, I see them all as my kids and I care about them. I care about their future because they are running this place. They're going to be running this country, if not the world, in a few years. We need to get them ready for that and we have it. So

Political correctness is choking them because when we for the first time in this country, in the first time in this country, in the way that it is right now, we have a generation growing up who does not know how to have productive conversations. I'm going to say it again. They do not, and this is generally, not talking about every teen, of course, but I mean as a culture, they do not know.

how to have productive conversations. And what I mean by that is they're being taught to focus on who they're offending instead of who they're helping. Those are two different things. The non-productive conversation is, well, let me have a conversation where we won't offend anybody. Here you go.

That was the whole conversation. You can't not be honest and real and not offend somebody. That's not gonna happen. now you can be sensitive. I'm not saying that we need to go to the other extreme either and just be rude and obnoxious.

Keon Brewer (27:38.69)

Yeah

Keon Brewer (27:53.653)

I started being racist and gay-bashing and all that.

Yeah, we don't. That's just this. Don't be obnoxious. Don't be rude.

You can have an opinion on something without.

I do think that being aware of other people's sensitivities is a good thing. And being aware of other people's sensitivities is a smart thing. Because why offend the whole room if you don't have to? Now, sometimes I will go out of my way to say something offensive to make a point. But then I usually will bring it back. it's all those extremities. But anyway, when it comes to the political correctness, it's choking them. Because now we have a generation that is being told

not always directly, but through action. Because most of what we hear is action, words. Most people don't realize that, but it's true. They're being told, be careful what you say because you're going to get canceled, kind of a thing. And you can't have a productive conversation without uncomfortableness. You just can't. If there's a problem that we need to solve,

Fatima Bey (29:00.118)

and the problem is that I'm rude to all the customers and that's why you're losing business. Well, that's a conversation we, know, if I'm working in your store, I'm just making up an example, I'm working in your store and I'm a good worker, but I'm rude to your customers and it's making you lose business. Well, that's a problem. And that's a problem that you have to address with me. There's no way to comfortably address that with me. It's going to be an uncomfortable conversation. And that's the thing is that we have a generation of youth that are being trained, beat in their head.

Be politically correct, be politically correct. Bow down to and worship my emotions. People don't think about it this way, but I put it that way because it's harsh and to the point. Bow down to my emotions or I will cancel you. That is not that. No, that's not. If there's an elephant in a room, let's talk about the damn elephant in room before he tears up the damn house instead of pretending like it's not there. We can't talk about the elephant in room because Sasha is going to get sensitive because that's her emotional support elephant.

No, let's get the elephant out the room. Let's talk about how we're gonna do it. Let's get together, have a conversation. First, let's recognize the elephants in the room. Then let's figure out together how we're gonna solve the problem of the elephant in the room. But our youth today are not being, they're not even being allowed to have that conversation. Because even when they go to school or any public forum, it's like, don't say this, don't say that, don't say this.

And even when they go to school and they might have teachers that really listen to them or counselors or principal, whoever, whatever staffs in the school, and they really listen to the kids and they really care, they're not allowed to be real with them. How can they solve problems? They're watching. I know because I go into schools and I see and I hear the frustration from school administrators, from staff of all kinds, not just teachers.

who get very frustrated because they genuinely care about the kids. They really want to help them, but they're not allowed to.

Fatima Bey (31:00.546)

for many reasons, primarily bureaucratic bullshit. And it's one of the reasons I don't work in the school. I go to schools, I work in schools, I work with schools, I refuse to work for a school.

You gotta do, you gotta kind of go in a system. You gotta do it.

And their systems are what's screwing up our kids and why so much of the world are more advanced than we are right now.

You know what I, what I try to do, as far as like with my own kids, I try to do how my mom kind of did it, where if I got something to say that could be offensive, like just tell her and like she told, and I tell my kids like, tell me, like, you know, even like, they're young. like it's small things. Like if we go somewhere and somebody cooked and they don't like the food, you don't.

spit it out and say, my God, this is nasty. Like, just tell me, you know? So they'll come to me, daddy, I'm like, huh? They're like, I don't like this.

Fatima Bey (32:01.662)

Yeah, well that you're right. That's a good way to teach them to do that.

Yeah, now, because then when they get older, they'll realize, OK, I can say what I want to say, but I know that this person might not like it.

Yeah, and it's not necessarily to be like, your food sucks. Okay, it's not necessary to say that because then it's just for what root. Now that comes to you and says, what do you think of my food? Tell them the truth. Don't sugarcoat it. You know, don't sugarcoat shit and tell them it's chocolate. Tell them the truth because we get enough of that in our society. But anyway, as you can tell, I'm very passionate.

Maybe.

Keon Brewer (32:27.918)

tell the truth.

Keon Brewer (32:40.974)

That's a good thing. You should be, as a mind-shifter and podcaster, you know what mean? I appreciate that.

Absolutely.

And it kind of leads me to the next thing I was going to ask you and I was going to ask, which I probably know the answer now, are you on the side of truth all the time? Like no matter what, like truth should be told.

I am.

Fatima Bey (33:04.064)

even when it's uncomfortable. But here's the thing, when it comes to my coaching clients, I write off the bat, you can see I'm very transparent. I make it a point to be very transparent. When people are not transparent, it's easier to not trust them, even if they're honest, but the appearance of you hiding something just, it automatically perturbs people.

So I try to be as transparent as I can, because I think it's important and I need people to trust me. But when I meet with people, they already know they're not getting soft spoken Sally. That's not me. Actually, that's not true. It is me sometimes because sometimes it's necessary. So there are times where I'll hug you, can cry on my shoulder and I'll give you very soft spoken counsel and I'll be that, you know, loving mother, loving friend, whatever you need in that moment. That's a part of me too.

but you're going to get told like it is. And if you can't handle that, then you can't handle me. We're not a match and you should move on. Like I'm not one of those people that's, I'm very direct about it. But I can, you know, but people usually come to me because I am a tell it like it is person. know that there's no bullshit with me. They know there's no bullshit. My really close friend who I call my brother from another mother, even he says that he's like, that's why

You're most beautiful in your life. Feliz.

Fatima Bey (34:30.382)

He and I can talk to each other. We can tell each other what's real and give each other real opinions because we know that it's coming from a loving place. And if he corrects me, I listen because I know it's coming from a loving place. one thing we appreciate about each other is we just tell like it is. If what you did was stupid, I'm gonna tell you it was stupid, but then I'm gonna encourage you at the same time. And I might not use the word stupid. I might say it in a different way, but I'm just overgeneralizing it right now. But if what you did was bad and not good,

We might say that it's like, you know what? You shouldn't have said that as a woman, I would have kicked you in the teeth. I've said that to my male friends. As a woman, you said it to me, I would put you in the head. But you know, then tell, but then I'll give the, but that's always followed by the encouraging words with me. You can't just give them negative without giving them positive. But I do think it's very important to be honest all the time, because here's the thing. And I'll tell you why. And this is something that's a whole nother.

subject, I'm going to make a whole video on it later, but it's very important to be honest when it, especially when it hurts and when it's inconvenient. And I say that because if you have someone who's always, I'm so nice and smiley to everybody and you're all special in your own way, everything's pretty and everybody's good all the time. Yeah.

When you have somebody who's like that all the time, they never insult anyone, they never ever ever tell anyone the negative. The problem is when that same person has something important to say to you, you're not going to receive it because you're gonna think it's more bullshit. And that's the thing is when people are fake nice, it actually does more harm than good. And some people do it because they've been taught to do it.

or they're doing it with good intention. And I do think most of the time it does come from a good place. They're like, well, I don't want to be hurtful or harmful. So let me just tell them it was good. But I'll give you this example. You're going to go on American Idol or American Got Talent or whatever the next show is. And you're going to go on there and you're going to go sing. And you sound like a frog being murdered. If I'm your friend, I am not going to let you go out there and embarrass yourself.

Keon Brewer (36:49.87)

I'm gonna leave it to you.

Fatima Bey (36:55.79)

If they're my friend, they ain't going out like that because I'm gonna stop 'em. And it doesn't mean that they don't have talent because maybe they need voice lessons. Maybe they need to learn how to time their breath. There's a lot of different.

maybe they don't have that talent.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe they don't have that talent. Nine times out of 10, though, it's usually something like they need lessons, need more development for talent that they already have. And maybe that's the case. But you need somebody to be honest with you and instead of letting you go out and embarrass yourself. If I care about you, I'm not going to, I'm not,

that. Yeah, and now you viral because you sounding like like you said a frog being murdered like nah.

I also want to give a little side piece to that that I think is important to say. One of the reasons why we aren't honest all the time. Well, first, you don't need to be honest 100 % of the time. And what I mean by that is if you just said everything that came in your head, you wouldn't have any friends.

Fatima Bey (38:00.325)

I'm telling you right now, you have no friends. It's not necessary to speak your mind or give your opinion on every single thing. It's necessary to say something all the time. But if there's an issue, it is 100 % necessary to be honest. If someone's asking your opinion, it's 100 % necessary to be honest. And if someone's coming to you for coaching, they're looking for your opinion, your input, your guidance. So you need to be 100 % honest.

The other part that I was going to say to that is one of the reasons people aren't honest isn't because they don't see what's wrong and they don't see or they don't know what they need to say. It's because it's uncomfortable to say it. It's I don't want to deal with your reaction to me telling you that your drawing wasn't good enough.

So I'm going to tell you that it's good that you go and submit that drawing to a contest and you lose and your hopes and dreams are dashed. I think that's not a good friend. If I, if I know that it's not, is not your best and it could be better, I'd better tell you so that you, cause I want the best for you. I'll be, I'll tell you something else. I had a, I have a friend who is a news anchor. I asked her opinions about my,

first episode about the podcast so far, she gave me her honest opinion and it wasn't all good, but I appreciate it because her opinion, because her feedback will make my future podcasts better. And I appreciate that, but that's also why asked her because I knew that I would get a real response from her. And she even said to me, she's like, girl, I want to see you successful. So here it is. And we all need those kinds of friends in our life.

Yeah.

Keon Brewer (39:51.542)

opened up a lot of my podcasts saying how grateful I am for the feedback and things like that. Like I accept all feedback, even if it's considered negative or whatever, because I just want to know what people think about it because that's why I'm putting it out. Right. Right. And I mean, I've had friends comment on it, family tell me what they think. And it's not always like you say, like, it's not always good, you know, but I just want to hear the honesty.

about it.

we want to progress, we have to put ego aside. And unfortunately, that does take a certain level of maturity to recognize that and implement it. And some people are still living under ego. And when you're living under ego, you have put a ceiling on your success, you can't get past that. So the second somebody says something you don't like, you, well, I need to be your friend anyway, I won't hear what you think anyway, you you start just

you know, acting silly about it. And we can't not just as podcasters, but leaders of any kind, whether you're an entrepreneur, a podcaster, a politician, whatever it is, we have to be able to take positive feedback. I mean, constructive criticism. It's important that we get it because you can't get better. You know, the person, like I said, going to American Idol, it sounded like a frog being murdered. You can let them go out and embarrass themselves like that. You ain't no friend.

Yeah, that is not right. You know, I'm actually kind of careful sometimes about what I call exposing my spirit to like strangers or whatever. But there are times, there's been times where there could be a conversation going on and I'm in the environment and people will like ask me for my opinion on something that I really don't want to share on because I know my thoughts already are like.

Fatima Bey (41:50.136)

Yep.

not gonna be accepted. Like I know it's not and I hope they don't ask me and I'm having thoughts. I could be doing some over here. I'm listening. I hear them talking and I know my family. Okay. And I'm saying it in my head though. And it seemed like it always somehow like, man, let's ask Keeyon. And then they come ask me and then now I have to give my true thoughts on this thing. And it's just not at all on either side of what they're talking about.

Yeah, I know. And it can be uncomfortable because you're like, really don't. Please don't ask me. But at the end of the day, the honesty is still needed because even though it might be uncomfortable to be honest, and you know you might hurt some feelings, obviously, that's not the goal. You don't want to people's feelings. But if they're asking you your opinion, you got to give it. Because after a while, they might even if they get upset at first,

I it.

Fatima Bey (42:45.376)

After a while they'll come back and be like, you know what? I respect you being honest with me. And I've had people do that to me.

I'm less concerned about reaction and more concerned about results. Most people get stuck on the surface of reaction and not in the longevity of results. So sometimes I will say things that might be offensive, that might seem harsh. I don't care. I care about results. I care about you getting what's best for you. And even if that means that you don't like me right now, you'll get over it.

because you get over it when you realize that I was right or that what I said was helpful if you implement it. And if you don't want to realize that, you want to stay in your own ego, then that's your problem. And it'll continue to be your problem, but not just with me. You know what I mean? I recognize that. Something else I used to, I used to, you wouldn't know this, but I used to work at Job Corps. Do you know anything about Job Corps? Yeah. Okay. I used to run a whole dorm of females at Job Corps. Imagine a whole dorm.

yeah.

Fatima Bey (43:52.558)

of 75 to 100 teenage girls.

No way. You're strong.

Yeah, I did that. And you know, many of them are still friends with me to this day. And it's been many, many years since I left. I love them, though. I really do love my students. But working with them is an example of what I mean. Oh, my God. Like, Miss Bay, it would get so pissed because I was a hard ass. But at the same time, the first person they run to when they need a shoulder to cry on, when you talk about something serious, confess things that were

pretty devastating. And, you know, many of them nowadays have come back to me in years since and they appreciate it. But at the time, they were pissed off at me because it's the same mentality. Their reaction was to be pissed off at me. But the results was that I was able to say and do things that changed their lives, that I was able to plant seeds that pissed them off at the time because it was uncomfortable.

but those seeds that were planted are still producing crops today. That's what matters. Too many of us are so worried about people's reaction, not at all, not at all looking at what could be the final results of that. What is the long-term results of that? Something that God showed me about myself, I'm a seed sower. That's what I'm built to do. I am meant to be a seed sower. I plant seeds. So as a mind-shifter,

Fatima Bey (45:26.006)

I plant seeds in your brain. I plant seeds in your mind. And so my mentality goes with that because I naturally think that way because I meant to. A person who has a farm and they're planting seeds has to know what crops they want before they plant their seeds. They can't just look at the seed planting itself and stay that small minded and look at a month from now that they don't see the crops that they want.

That's small, that's small. You gotta look at the bigger picture of, okay, what I wanna plant corn, so this is the time of the year I need to do it, I need to put the seeds in this way, I need to water it, blah, blah, blah, all the details that come along with whatever you're trying to plant. And sometimes we don't think of it that way when we're dealing with other people. I think it's important to be honest as a friend, I'm sorry, but if you can't be honest with me as my friend, we don't need to be friends.

Yeah.

You know what mean? If you have for the listeners out there, just want to get this little tidbit of advice. If you have friends that make you walk on eggshells, you need to stop walking on eggshells. You need to find some new friends. Nobody should ever have to work. I don't mean that you don't have uncomfortable moments. I don't mean that you don't have arguments or disagreements. That's a natural part of being a human being. But I mean, all the time, you just can't say anything at all around them. Then what the hell are you friends with them for? You want to live your life walking on eggshells? I'm not.

None of us should do that. None of us should do that.

Keon Brewer (47:00.602)

there was something else I wanted to, I was just going to say that, like for me, well, that's okay with you, you know what saying? Finding your purpose. There was a point not long ago where I was like, found myself like, okay, what am I doing? Like, you know, I'm, working, you know, I was having kids and stuff and

You know, even, mean, I got married everything and I was just like, okay, but what am I, what's my like purpose? Like, what am I trying to do here? Cause this is a life and you got one to live and you got to do whatever it is in this life. You got to do it, whatever it is. And I found myself trying to like figure it out. And at a certain point, and I don't know if it's correct, but I decided that

The purpose of my life was to live it like a gift. And just, you know, there are things that I want to do. I said to myself, whatever I want to do, I'm going to do it. Like, whatever it is, I'm just going to do it. And it's...

It's it's whatever I'm supposed to do. I'm doing it to go towards my end goal. And I have goals in my life, but whatever it is along the way, I just got to do it so I can get there.

You know, we can sit there and look at a map of Florida, but looking at a map ain't gonna help us get there. And so many people weren't looking at a map like, I hope one day to get there. just stand and start, and it's still sitting there.

Keon Brewer (48:43.522)

You gotta get in the car or something.

Gotta get in the car, gotta put a plan together, you know, and plans are gonna change as we travel around the road to our goals. It's okay that plans change. It really is okay. You just, you know, if a boulder, big giant rock falls in the middle of the road, detour. doesn't mean you're not gonna get there. It just means you decide a different route to get there. And that's really okay. That's really what life is about. And honestly, if we don't have those boulders, if we don't have the challenges,

How the hell are you gonna grow?

Yeah.

There are so many people out there who have substance, but they're hiding it because they don't think it'll be accepted. And I see it all the time. And I'll point it out to people. I will point it out to people within reason, because it's not always welcomed. But if I feel like it's OK to say so, I will. I say stuff to strangers that most people wouldn't dare say, because I see things. And I will kind of gauge whether or not it'll be accepted.

Fatima Bey (49:49.26)

or utilized, you know what mean? Some people still have walls up and so you can't say anything to them and it's true. But sometimes I'll just like.

I tell truth when it's like with, you know, people I know or like if I'm on my podcast talking or whatever, but as I'm walking around, like strangers, people like people can do things that is so like not right, right in front of me. I'm turned the other way. Like I don't, I don't talk to people out. I don't.

Here's the thing about that. It's we want to be bold. We want to be blunt. We want to speak up and we want to be honest, but we also have to use wisdom. Balance. In fact, wisdom is based on balance. Wisdom is knowing what to do and when and how to do it. I'm shortening the definition of it. And wisdom means you know when.

to go ahead and speak up and whatnot. And it's not an automatic thing that you just, know, light ball, you know, ball of light fell from the sky. you're magic now. You're perfect. It's learned. It's learned. lot of the wisdom in life is learned and we have to learn what battles to fight. So I may disagree with something you've just said, but I don't need to sit here and not have an argument with you. I don't need to sit here and spend my energy correcting you.

when I can already see you are not willing to be corrected. You are not willing, you are where you are because you wanna be, you're not gonna hear anything else. I ain't wasting my energy. Now, if you ask me a question, I'm gonna tell you the truth, but I'm not gonna interject because it's not necessary. Here's a quote that I have, and I have hundreds of quotes. I'm gonna be making products with them soon. But one of them is talking about lying and being dishonest.

Fatima Bey (51:48.096)

You might make a dollar, you might make a penny today, but you're gonna lose dollars tomorrow.

That's just another nugget. If people don't think about that, Bernie Madoff, we could think of what Trump's going through right now. You could think of a lot of people that have sowed these bad seeds of deceit and wonder why they reap destruction.

Hey, well, look, running up on my time, about time to get up out of here. I really want to, I appreciate you coming on. I'm definitely, I think I followed you on Spotify. I'm pretty sure I did. I subscribe to your YouTube. I'm listening, I'm tuning in. Most definitely.

Appreciate you coming on, most definitely.

Thank you for having me.